Magic Words

1. “Whenever people do something nice for us, they give up time, money, or energy that could have been spent doing something for themselves. Tell them that you appreciate that.”

2. “You would be amazed at how often this works—and not just for children. I once asked an employee, “What do you think about this project?” He said, “I don’t really know.” I used the magic word: “What would you say if you did know?” He immediately answered, “Well, if I did know, then I would probably say something about the fact that it’s not really tied in to our big-picture plans. It’s kind of a distraction.” This is just one example of many, many “magical” turnarounds created by the word “if.” But it doesn’t always work out that way. What if my daughter responded with “But, Daddy, I don’t know”? (Which she did.) I had to up the ante a little bit and take the hypothetical up another level. I countered with “That’s not what I really meant. What I really meant was, what would I say if you asked me?” She immediately responded, “Well, you’d say ‘ice cream,’ but you know.”

3. “Some social psychologists claim that it takes up to seven positive deposits into someone’s emotional bank account to balance out just one negative withdrawal. “No” is expensive.”

4. “The next time you’ve got a task you need someone to do, any task, don’t say the usual “Here’s what needs to be done and here are the instructions for how you’re going to do it.” Instead, bring your people together and say, “We have a problem and I need your help to solve it.” Then present the problem that your task solves and brainstorm with them.”

5. “I had a frustrated woman confront me once: “I can’t get my teenage boys to clean their rooms! Do you have any magic words for that, Magic Boy? It’s driving me crazy. I’m constantly cleaning up after their mess!” Maybe it’s hard for them to grab hold of the task because you’re still clutching onto it for dear life. A task can have only one owner. When you jump in and correct, or when you take over a job outright, you are taking back ownership. In this mom’s case, because she took over, the consequences for not cleaning their rooms were: CLEAN ROOMS!”

6. ““Because” doesn’t always need a logical or compelling reason behind it in order to be effective, unless you want to motivate someone to complete significant or complex tasks. The six most compelling reasons are: “need to,” “have to,” “want to,” “choose to,” “love to,” and “called to.””

1. "Because" Increases Compliance Even with Weak Reasons

Adding "because" to any request dramatically increases compliance rates, even when the reason provided is circular or weak. This works because people have a psychological need to understand causation and will accept almost any explanation that follows "because" rather than no explanation at all.

2. "You" Makes Messages More Personally Relevant

Using "you" instead of "people" or generic terms makes communication more engaging and persuasive because it creates a sense of personal relevance. This simple word shift activates self-referential thinking and makes audiences feel directly addressed rather than part of a mass communication.

3. "Free" Triggers Irrational Decision-Making

The word "free" has almost magical power to influence behavior, often causing people to choose inferior options simply because they don't cost money. This zero price effect makes people ignore opportunity costs and focus solely on the monetary price, leading to suboptimal decisions.

4. "Instant" Appeals to Our Need for Immediate Gratification

Words that emphasize speed and immediacy ("instant," "immediately," "now") are highly persuasive because they tap into our present bias and desire for quick results. This is particularly powerful in our fast-paced world where waiting feels increasingly unacceptable.

5. Concrete Language Beats Abstract Language

Specific, concrete words are more persuasive and memorable than abstract or vague language. Instead of saying "improve performance," saying "increase sales by 23%" creates a clearer mental image and feels more credible because specificity suggests expertise and careful measurement.